Grief Work

The four stages of grief

There are many models for the mourning period, which divide the mourning into different phases. One of the best known is the 4-phase model according to Verena Kast.

1st phase
In the first phase of mourning, the loss is denied, the bereaved person does not want to admit it. Usually it does not last long, a few days to a few weeks are common.

2nd phase
The second phase describes the breaking through of emotions. One realizes the death and is in a roller coaster of emotions. The bereaved person looks for culprits, cannot sleep, thinks about open questions, disputes and common experiences.

3rd phase
The mourner tries to identify with the deceased through the environment, to look for him, often realizing that he is not there. He begins to have inner dialogues with him. Ideally, in this phase he manages to work through old unresolved issues with the lost person.

4th phase
The loss is accepted. One looks for new possibilities of living on, the ability to let go of each other in relationships improves. Often it is accompanied by a general development of the personality, the opening of new ways, experiences and perspectives on life.